winter holiday

December 27th, 2009

I’m at the Ritz Carlton in Amelia Island Florida. We are hanging out in a honeymoon suite on the sixth floor with like six of us in the bed watching college football in a twenty pillow heap of awesome exhaustion. This must be what it feels like to be a ten year old girl at a slumber party. We’re wrapped up in bathrobes wearing hotel slippers. A few pretty women and a couple hung over fucktards, is all it really boils down to.

Anyhow, every year at this time, in all avenues of life, people wish me Merry Christmas.

--insert ellipsis---

Any how I was exhausted due to all the hoopla of the weekend and expired in the midst of a Sahara sized hang over to a bushel of sixteen pillows after everyone else retreated to their beds or wherever it was they slept.

What I intended to discuss was that despite teetering on anti religion (which one day will owe science a large apology), I very much enjoy, here in America, the time of year from mid November to the second or third day of January. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza and New Years; I collectively refer to as the Winter Holiday.

I think of it as a brilliant time to see family and close friends, get very drunk (be forgiven) and eat great food. When my friends decided to get married in between Christmas and New Years, I thought it was a nice 700 microdot of acid spiked into the hectic punch that is the Holiday. I spent most of the two month indulgence fest, running on little sleep, papers due, looming exams and a work environment similar to a hyena mauling at the zoo. Thanks to an overly sufficient supply of ADD medication, I finished the semester strong with a 3.889, and filled the time between studying and stocking shelves with champagne and the studio.

There is no Christmas to me, as its’ intended to be celebrated, perhaps acknowledging the winter solstice, the birthday of some ancient god of the unconquered sun (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/10402a.htm, under ‘worship’, mid paragraph) or perhaps we could just bake our good buddy Jesus a cake and sing ‘Happy Birthday’. Birthdays, like Christmas became a reason to max out our credit cards and shower our friends and fam with gifts. I like that idea. It’s nice to buy gifts for people you don’t see that often because if you take the time to think about who that person is and what they value in life in relation to the present purchased for them, you get to know them better. Honestly though, I like the smell of a dead tree in the house for a few weeks and the reason to drink champagne for no reason.

More blogs soon, Sex during menstruation (SDM), gambling on insurance and a small water shortage, maybe some other stuff. Thanks for reading. And BTW, start clipping coupons, saying IMO (in my opinion) in regular conversation, saying preash (short for appreciate it) and a good inexpensive champagne is Korbel Brut Rosé, brut appeals to the males innate inner John Wayne and the Rosé, well you get it. Oh, and be on the lookout for my upcoming CD ‘road to meliora’.

i do what i want part 1

So I’m visiting friends in Clemson, SC. They’re engaged to be married which is good, because they’re both focused on enjoying life and they probably won’t procreate for a couple years as they’d rather devout time & money to careers, vacations and the like rather than to children. That was a long sentence, but I don’t give a fuck. We’re watching Death at a Funeral and I’m paying it minimum wage worth of attention (just saw a midget adjacent a casket) and I’m skimming this article about twentysomethings(http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/07/01/tf.narcissim.keeping.you.single/index.html) and their/our relations pertaining to our narcissist qualities.

Facebook status updates, personal YouTube vlogs, Twitter tweets and all that social networking gaggle, we are too self indulgent. I feel it’s more that that all of this technology allows us more opportunity to entertain more mates. I’d rather be talking to a couple options, (a little ketamine) than be stuck with one girl I know will be out of my life in a month. This way if one girl decides she will pull out of life, I still have other reinforcements.

Besides, we’ve gotta’ have sex before we start to date. If we talk for a hot minute and I’m über into donkey punching (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=donkey+punch) , and my lady friend does not like having her medulla oblongata struck while were fucking, it’s best too know now, that our relationship will not properly progress into the future as I will not be able to relieve my sexual frustrations and she may get annoyed with bruising on the lower back end of her skull. Another long sentence, again, I don’t fucking care. I do what I want.

This is my first blog, I doubt anyone will read this, but if you do thanks I guess. I’ve had an idea for years to do make a blog, I’ve wanted to discuss Barry Bonds, bank failure, DXM abuse, pirates and many other modge podge topics before they really came to national attention, because I am usually ahead of the curve. Papaya juice – I do what I want!!

and there's no puntang around!?